OK so we are finally back to posting blogs LOL, and to be honest I wrote this blog during the first two months after I gave birth. I am a little late, but things have definitely gotten better (I am now 4 months postpartum!) One thing I really want to emphasize on is that PATIENCE IS KEY! I have a newfound respect for single parents because I cannot imagine doing all this without my husband’s help, even if it’s just to hold our baby while I take a nice shower.
I am really enjoying this chapter in my life. It’s truly incredible how someone so small can change your life in the best way possible. Watching her grow every single day has been amazing. Now that I have her, I cannot imagine my life without her. Be patient with your body after giving birth, this is something my husband constantly reminded me of – be patient. It takes time for everything to fall back into place so don’t rush it. I do recommend being active though, whether it’s walking or yoga or anything you feel comfortable doing. It will help the process.
Postpartum is no joke. Don’t get me wrong, I’m truly loving this new role in my life and I wouldn’t want to have it any other way, but it is a lot of work. Sorry if this is TMI but I want to keep it real. I had to get used to leaking breasts, bleeding, trying to remember if I brushed my teeth and showered daily, messy hair, still having to pee every 5 minutes (at least in my case since my bladder is still so weak LOL), forgetting everything because pregnancy brain lingers on, healing from tearing, hormones – that made me cry just watching a commercial of a dog eating or just because my husband said “I love you” at 3 AM, night sweats while my husband was freezing, being sleep deprived, I mean seriously the list goes on LOL! I’m telling you all this because nobody told me all of this prior to giving birth so I want to prep you so you can be ready to take postpartum on and strong! Honestly, the best healing tool I had was my husband! He was there to constantly remind me to take it slow and relax, especially during the first week with baby at home which was the toughest for me.
I have learned that prepping is a must, whether it’s food, laundry, cleaning…anything and everything! I tell you this because it worked for me. Newborns eat around the clock every 2-3 hours and the same thing with diaper changes. Also, babies need lots of attention from momma and papa, though this wasn’t a problem because we can stare at our baby girl all day. I look at her so much that I have neck pain from looking down at her LOL! I recommend taking naps at the same time baby does and have food prepped and ready to eat, such as cut-up fruit or ready-to-go snacks. Believe me, just having someone stop by to bring you food is huge!
Tips I have for parents:
- White noise and swaddling my baby helps her sleep, although sometimes the white noise puts me to sleep faster than my baby LOL. She started sleeping through the night a month and a half after she was born, and I think swaddling and white noise has a lot to do with it.
- To all the daddy’s, be very patient as well. My husband was super helpful in every single way, bonding with baby, making dinner, and also cleaning. Trust me, even though they go to work, mommas also work at home, too, and sometimes it’s more work. It’s all about TEAMWORK and taking turns! Tell her you love her and momma too, tell your hubby you love them! You have no idea what those 3 words can do in moments where you’re so overwhelmed.
- Sometimes there isn’t time to cook or even clean, and if you’re a neat-freak like me it can be very frustrating not having things done, but this is when you have to remind yourself to relax and these precious moments won’t come back so enjoy your bundle of joy to the fullest. Everything else can wait.
- Postpartum depression is real. I didn’t get affected by this, but if you are don’t be ashamed or afraid to talk about it. You have no idea who you can help by just talking about it. People like to feel related to and they feel relieved to know they’re not alone.
- Plan date nights for you and your hubby! This is super important. A baby brings a lot of joy but can also bring a lot of stress. Don’t forget to make time for each other. I find that date nights are a lot more fun now because we appreciate time off more than before. I suggest once a week or every other week and take turns planning, one-week hubby plans, next week momma plans. Add mystery to date nights, it makes it more exciting!
- Plan family dates! This is important too! We have the everyday stress of work and schedules, running errands, and just life in general. Pick one day of the week and dedicate that day only to family. Have picnics, go to the pool or the beach, do a paint night at home, cook together, etc.
- YOU TIME! Make time for yourself! Go to dinner with the girls or guys if papa is reading LOL, get a massage, and don’t feel guilty because it’s important to balance your life, because if you’re happy, everyone else is happy LOL.
- Don’t be ashamed to ask for help. The best advice my mom gave me is to ask friends my age going through the same experience. She told me, ” Even though I’m a mother of 3, I haven’t raised a baby for over 30 years, things have changed.” So keep a good group of mom friends to help each other out.
- Communicate!!! There is a huge difference in what is said and how you say it. (“It’s not what you say but how you say it”) I believe you can express your opinion in a way that will not offend others, as long as you know how to say it. So if you don’t like what papa/momma said, know how to say it without fighting, because trust me, this is a very overwhelming time and things can get out of hand easily if not handled correctly. Fighting over something small is not worth it.
I really hope my post will help other parents-to-be. All these tips have not only been from my point of view I have talked to many moms my age and have found many of these things to be common with all of them. So a HUGE THANKS to all the cool moms for all the great tips that I’m passing on! This chapter is amazing so enjoy every second of it. I’m now 4 months postpartum and every day I feel better. I’m not exactly 100% myself yet, but every day I’m a little bit closer and I’m happy with that. Keywords: COMMUNICATE and be PATIENT!